I hate this feeling
Today is one of those days where I alternately feel like crying just a tiny bit or uncomfortable anxiousness. This morning I was feeling mushy and now, probably partially due to the coffee I’ve consumed, I feel incredibly anxious.
There are times when I start to feel so unorganized, both in the environmental and cognitive sense, that it affects the melon. We’re getting closer to moving and we’ve been busier than normal lately so the house is at the height of clutter and it’s starting to feel as if it’s closing in on me. Yes, logically speaking I could just stand up, grab something and create order but it’s overwhelming enough to paralyze me a bit and somehow, without dialog, convinces me to embrace avoidance. I’ve never claimed to make sense.
Some loose ends that need tying up are also biting at my heels but along with the overwhelming cognitive clutter, I’m also a master procrastinator. Actually, I think they are simply close cousins who both seem to visit at the same time with far too much luggage and don’t have the courtesy of calling first.
I have the lease addendum to tweak, sign and return but because my connected printer’s toner is 99.7% gone (leading to streaks and faint print) and my new printer is still packed, I’ll have to save the document on my USB drive and head up to the library. I have books to return anyhow but it’s still a pain. I also have the large-ish job of organizing and figuring out the paperwork from soccer. My goal was to have that completed over the weekend but being as I was feeling pretty nasty for most of it, I didn’t get to finish it. I did, however, put together a great deal of the website I want to publish for the program. That was easy and simply consisted of me sitting here in the recliner moving this and that around until it was aesthetically pleasing and fairly grammatically correct. I want to get that up so that I can create some marketing materials and spread the word. That gives me time to run some late registration for the fall and have enough uniforms and coaches by then. From what I understand, those who know about the program found out about it in some convoluted way and even the special needs program that is maybe 100 yards away from the field had no idea until just recently that we existed. How is that even possible?
This afternoon will be filled with running around that I wish were another day but you know how that goes. First it’s to gymnastics we run and then to the string concert where I’m hoping Iz will behave reasonably well. By the time we get home it will be late and I’m not exactly sure how dinner will fit in.
