Zoom zoom zoom
You know, I’m used to the low side of bipolar disorder. The depressions are what I experience most and just last week I started coming out of what was a fairly bad one. Part of it was the stress of moving or at least it was brought on by it but either way it went farther than just being overwhelmed. At least I see that now. I didn’t when I was in the middle of it and even last week when I was talking to a friend about it, I didn’t realize how really low I had gotten. I had a few productive days as you’ve seen and now today I feel like I’m in overdrive. I feel like I could run a marathon and stay up all night. This I’m not used to, even after all these years. Many like how it feels but I do not. I like normal — even keel. I don’t like feeling like I’m going 100 miles a minute, being jittery and whatnot. I’ve never liked feeling out of control. Now, don’t get me wrong — I don’t think I’m going to do anything weird or start thinking I can fly. I don’t have that type of bipolar disorder. Mine is type II and if you had the choice, that would be it. I don’t have hallucinations or stay up for days, thank God. At least I haven’t yet. I normally get agitated, irritable and experience more insomnia than normal. I don’t feel agitated or irritable but jumpy and way more full of energy than is anywhere near normal for me. I’m going to have to take a sleep aid to make sure I get sleep because the less sleep I get, the worse the mania gets and I can’t do that.
Today, despite my bounds of energy, I did nothing in the way of preparing to move. The kids had a half day and then I had parent/teacher conferences this afternoon. I’m happy to report that Gracie got a glowing review in both academics and behavior. I was also told she’s a very caring, compassionate and loving individual and that made me feel good. Her teacher said that she is much farther past the self-centered behavior that’s normal for this age and will serve her well in the future. She loves to learn, works hard and is a joy to teach. That felt good to hear. Iain’s report was also good. His teacher really is nice and seems to care about him a great deal as does his aide. His weak subject is math but we already knew that and he’s getting a half hour of resource room a day for it so hopefully that helps. He connects well with the RR teacher and seems to like her teaching methods. She said that he makes things so easy because he’s so willing to try different approaches to solving problems. His general ed teacher says he’s very well behaved and is even engaging contact with the other kids during free time so that was good to hear. I worry about him more socially than academically. We can supplement his education in many ways but socially I worry because he has quirks and kids can be cruel. His teacher actually told me that in the general classroom setting, he seems more typical than anything. It’s SO weird because at home I see all his quirks and wonder how much of that behavior he exhibits at school. I don’t want him to be teased (like any other parent, of course) and have that ruin the hard work he’s done so far. I want him to continue to like school. Sure, he’ll get teased eventually about something but that I can handle. I just don’t want him to stick out so badly that the kids are repelled by his behavior. It was good to find out that so far, so good. Sigh.
Oh, and I got Iain and Gracie’s pictures today. They aren’t the best they’ve ever taken but I’m not going to suffer through retakes. Grace was looking down slightly and Iain has an interesting mug on his face but oh well. We’ll giggle about it in the future. Hell, we were giggling about it today. I’m really really curious to see how Izzie’s pictures turned out. Please let them be adorable. I’m excited because this was her first official picture day. I can’t wait!
Tomorrow it’s back to work and my friend Kelly offered to help me out this weekend so I think I’ll take her up on it. She’ll probably see this before I get around to emailing her so hi, Kelly! At least this time it will be at my own house and not at the other one so we can avoid any odd mother behavior. She’s used to my odd behavior and I don’t have an irrational attachment to old border paper. Tomorrow I’m going to pack up the things in my file cabinet and clean out my computer armoire. I think I’ll start attacking my room, too. That will be a job. After that, I’ll head back downstairs and sort through what’s left down there including the toys that need to find their mates etc. We’ll probably end up with a bunch of toys to donate and the rest we’ll pack as well as we can. Once I start getting through most of the packing we’re going to have to call around for some movers for the really heavy crap. Well, we’ll see anyway. If the washer and dryer do go to his brother and we find someone who wants to buy the stove and fridge, we’ll handle the rest on our own I think. Who knows. But, in any event, I’ll have to return to my mom’s and finish what I was doing in the basement and seal it off for the time being. Then we can get our things in there and let everything else turn out however it ends up turning out. I don’t think we’ll soon forget this holiday season even though I might want to forget this one the most.
