The mask of life
I’m happy (I guess) to report that I actually kept that damn thing on for the entire night last night. That would be the first time since I got it. Up until now, somehow, I’ve ripped it off in the middle of the night, every night, without any recollection. Maybe it’s because last night was the first night it stayed on fairly consistently (I do remember putting it back on at some point but I don’t remember why or how long it was off), but I’ve yet to feel any relief. Today I’m doing a bit better than I might otherwise but not much. It’s frustrating because I just want to feel better. I’m so fucking exhausted and I want it to go away.
Speaking of my medical oddities, I started shaking today for no apparent reason. It was the kind of shaking (maybe better described as trembling) you’d experience if you were scared. The thing is, I wasn’t scared or even too stressed. It seems to have stopped so I’m not going to make much of it but if it starts up again I’m going to have to mention it to someone. I’ve never felt like that before with no cause and it was weird. It was hard to pour soup into a bowl or steady my spoon.
