I’m a lemming and easy to boot
Why do I go to Target? Why?! Or, more to the point, why do I browse? It would help me greatly if I could go to the customer service desk, hand them my list and have them pick my order. I would come in for a specific list of items and in turn I would leave with said items. Now, in my defense, I did have a list and minus the watch batteries, I did buy everything on that list. I also got something else that I do need but perhaps could’ve held off on or made another choice instead of the one I did.
I am the proud and ever so slightly
insane owner of this piece
of MOMA art:
I called my friend Jen to talk me down. I would’ve called my other friend Jen who would probably have talked me down but she was at work so a whole hell of a lot of good she was doing me. She should have known that I needed her! So, the former Jen received a phone call asking her to please talk me out of buying a vacuum cleaner that I never thought I would purchase.
Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against Dysons. I just couldn’t picture me ever spending so much on a vacuum cleaner. But here’s the twist and the reason I’m still cursing Target to this very minute: the $100 gift card. With my Dyson purchase I received a $100 gift card that I could use immediately.
This was hard to argue with her. First, it’s a Dyson. She’d never talk me out of a Dyson. In fact, I think it brought her a great deal of pleasure knowing that I was even considering buying one. She’s part of the cult; she drank the Kool-Aid. Second, there was the matter of the gift card. I had a cart full of things that the gift card could help with. I’m starting to think that she wasn’t ever considering talking me out of it at all.
Now, this wouldn’t have even gotten my attention had I walked a different way to get to the stationary section (I love clearanced note cards). I don’t know how it even caught my eye in the first place. I’ve walked by them many times before. I think it was the gift card that did me in. I figured that it would take a nice bite out of what I would’ve purchased anyhow and I did need a good vacuum. My other one is pretty much basement-worthy and not cutting it anymore. I was in need.
Sigh.
Knowing that I was fast losing Iz, I bribed her with a couple of Dollar Spot items she had her eye on so that I could buy the vacuum, take possession of the gift card, turn back around and then purchase the items in my cart. She was all on board with that, thankfully. I went to the otherwise useless-to-me customer service counter and asked them to keep an eye on my cart for me. From there we headed to the checkout where I shared my master plan with the cashier. She thought it was a grand plan and that was a sign if there ever was one. If the cashier was for it, well, by God, so was I. I already had Iz won over.
We went out to the car, deposited my gold-lined vacuum in the back and then returned for the other goodies. I came back to the same cashier since I now had a bond and fruitful relationship with her and purchased the rest of my things using the $100 GIFT CARD.
Target knew what they were doing. With my being a lemming and unable to say no to Target in the first place, they saw me coming and I swear I heard the faint chanting of the word “weak” coming from the office area when I entered the store. That’s it. I’m never going back. Well, this week at least (it’s Saturday night where I sit).
Fuckers.
